Monday, September 27, 2010

Miller Moments

I love the possible irony of my previous post about not letting this blog slowly fade into non-existence. I will definitely make a more conscious effort to update it for all my friends and supporters so everyone can be know about the current events of my life and the ministry to which God has called me.

Unlike previous posts this one will not be any sort of wisdom, sermon, or testimony. I wish first to start off with how life is going for me as a seminary student. I'm attending Criswell College in Dallas, Texas where I am pursuing a Masters of Divinity focusing in Pastoral Care and Counseling. This first semester consists of four classes which are New Testament Introduction, Baptist History and Distinctives, Hebrew I, and Human Growth and Development(Counseling class).

Baptist History and Distinctives has been challenging in the sense that studying the history of Baptists is incredibly boring. It's a struggle to see the importance of this class to me as a disciple of Christ and its relevance to my current and future ministry. However, I am beginning to understand. While I do not classify myself as a Baptist as I find my identity in Christ, Biblical doctrine is an important part of being a follow of Jesus. I've learned how there are some serious errant doctrines out there such as those who do not believe in a physical resurrection of Jesus or even the divine nature of His virgin birth. These are some serious doctrinal beliefs that are completely averse to what the Scriptures say. So while I may not enjoy the boring reading, I am becoming stronger in my faith in Christ through sound doctrine.

New Testament Introduction is an interesting class. Our primary goal this semester is to begin to understand the context in which the New Testament is written to the people of that time period. When marriage is discussed in the NT it is not talking about how we view marriage with our dating and engagement period but the arranged marriages that were the process by which one became a husband or wife. This does not mean we should stop dating and start arranging all our marriages; it's just important to understand the meaning the NT authors were conveying to their audience and how it would be received.

Human Growth and Development is one of my favorite classes. Right now, I'm not learning anything exceptionally new to me since I just took a Child Psychology and Adolescent Psychology class last semester. However, we will be moving beyond adolescence soon. What I am learning is some spiritual aspects of psychology that is left out in secular psychology classes. This class is very fun due to my fellow students and professor always having a good attitude during class. We joke around a bit which starts my week off just right since it's a Monday night class.

Hebrew I.....WOW! That is all I can say. I LOVE this class. There is something so exciting, encouraging, and edifying(high five for alliteration) about studying the language that God chose to speak to His chosen people. Imagine for a second that I will eventually be able to read the Old Testament in Hebrew. How awesome will that be?! Currently, I am nowhere near that point. I know my alphabet, articles of speech, some prepositions, and about 80 vocabulary words, but this is only the beginning.

That seems like so much yet there is more to share. Aside from seminary, I work at Ridgeview Ranch Golf Club. I have one of the best part-time jobs. I get to work outside cutting grass at the course where I spend hours of time in solitude listening to Christian rap and hip-hop and praying. There is something so peaceful about sitting on a mower while praying to God. Plus, I get opportunities to talk with golfers about God as well as the people I work with. I got an opportunity to share the Gospel with one of my co-workers. AMEN for that!!! Aside from that my job allows me to play golf for free which lets me relax a little bit from seminary.

As if seminary and a job weren't enough there is still more to share. I have finally been assigned into the ready reserve of the Army. Now I am just waiting to be assigned to a unit so I can start my duties as a chaplain candidate. This will begin the next 3 years that I will spend preparing to be a full chaplain so I will best be able to care for soldiers.

And last, I am a missionary with the American Missionary Fellowship. My focus is one of the projects called Rosemont homes where I am part of our Kids for Christ and Teens for Christ ministry. For Kids for Christ, we go around the neighborhood to pick the kids up and bring them to the activity center. Once there we have a couple songs of worship, play a game or two, have a bible lesson before breaking up into groups to talk more about the lesson, and then take the kids home. With our Teens for Christ, I disciple 4 teen guys(Darrius, Desmond, Victor, and Shabrydrick.) Right now I'm helping ground them in their identity in Christ such as being declared righteous and blameless through Christ, loved, forgiven, having the strength to do all things through Christ, and so much more. In just the past few months I've seen these guys grow so much in their relationship with God. We meet once a week as a group and then I take one of them out each week for some one on one time.

It has been tough moving from Wisconsin to Texas. I miss all my Wisconsin friends from Campus Crusade for Christ. It has been tough finding a new community and building new friendships. God has divinely orchestrated events to provide me just the friend I needed in this time. A friend of mine from high school and I have reconnected. Since high school we both have really started to walk with the Lord. As a result, the Lord brought us together to have a Jonathon-David friendship. We meet up every Friday to spend time in prayer, reading the Word, and encouraging each other. We talk throughout the week, and God has used us to help each other grow closer to God.

So much going on and it probably won't slow down anytime soon. If you'd like to support my ministry, please contact me at steelwolf1988@gmail.com and I will let you know how. I need your prayers and your financial support to continue doing this ministry. Here's some of my praises and prayer requests:

1) Praise God for re-connecting with my Ryan from high school.
2) Praise God for finding a church
3) Praise God for seeing some early fruits of the labors in my ministry
4) Pray to raise the financial support needed to continue attending seminary and move to downtown Dallas
5) Pray for finding a mentor.
6) Pray for diligence to study and complete assignments for my classes

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Memoirs of Paul

It has been so long since I have been able to truly sit down to update this blog. For a moment, I thought it was going to get lost as a distant memory of what I used to do. In fact, I remember my friend Dan telling me that most blogs go strong for a month and then the person stops writing when the second month comes along. This would seem to be the case with me except here I am again back at it. I will continue to update this as often as possible, hoping that will be every two weeks. So what has happened in the time elapsed since my last submission? So much!

Since the last post, I went through the toughest period of my life. But before we can get to the main story there has to be preface right? The preface to this story involves willingy choosing to not bring honor and praise to the King of Kings in everything I do specifically my school work. I failed two classes in Fall 2009. The tuition benefits of my Army ROTC scholarship were suspended which meant it was my responsibility to pay the $13,000 on my student bill. Additionally I had to take 24 credits(8 academic classes) while keeping up with my job as a youth pastor, the demands of my position as a senior in Army ROTC, guest speaking at churches, being in a Bible study, and trying enjoy my last semester in Wisconsin. All this had to be completed or the plans I had to graduate and commission as an Army officer in May 2010 in order to attend seminary at Criswell College Fall 2010 would be lost.

Many of my friends will attest, this is too much for one person to handle. The beautiful part is these burdens were not mine to carry. While I am willing to carry my cross for Christ, He carried it for me first so that I would have the strength to carry mine. Philipians 4:13 became so true in my heart during this time. And so the story begins.

At the beginning of the semester, I was in a state of deep despair. I saw no way out of this hole that I had dug. It was too much, too hard; impossible were the words I said. For the first time in about 9 years, I was ready to quit. I don't mean just give up school or my dreams but life. Thoughts of suicide plagued me daily or at best "There is no better time for Jesus to come back than now so that I wouldn't have to deal with this." But as I continued to be encouraged by my brothers and sisters in Christ and more so as I sought after God, I realized this was not too big for the Creator if this grand universe.

I struggled daily to accomplish this task. I had good days and dark days. It was the absolutely toughest time of my life, but I would not change it. So much scripture spoke to the deepest parts of my heart and Spirit through this semester. The very beginning of the first chapter of James was crucial in how the Lord spoke so directly to me.

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

In a time of intense lamenting over my situation, I finally got to the point that I said "Lord, Your will be done. If I graduate this semester or not, I don't care. I accept whatever happens because I know that your plan is best. I consider this pure joy, because I know you are going to grow me so much during this time period." In that moment I heard the Lord so clearly, "Just wait my son, I see the end. If you could only see what I see then you would chuckle with joy because it will all work out. You will look back and see what I did in you." At this moment, I knew it was all going to come together somehow, someway. Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

It is now July, about 2 months and 12 days since I graduated college and accepted my commission as a brand new 2nd Lieutenant in the United States Army. The Lord used me in so many ways to encourage others, to help Him ignite a fire in others hearts, to see people come to Christ, to see others strengthened in their faith, and so much more! He taught me a new level of humility that I've long needed to learn. So true is the following statement: Everything that was accomplished this semester was ALL Him. None of it was me, purely the Holy Spirit using this broken vessel of a man.

I called this post memoirs of Paul, because I imagine Paul looking back at his life and evaluating all that was accomplished. He could have easily said that it was him who did those things. He could have boasted in himself but he did no such thing. In fact, he addresses this in Philipians 3.

2Watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh. 3For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— 4though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.

Paul was such an influential man of God, a great missionary, and servant of Gospel of Christ. Everything that "he" accomplished was the Lord's doing. None of it can be attributed to him, only to the King. In this semester, I attest that it was not me who accomplished so much but Christ crucified in me through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Body of Christ

I will finish this post after this Tuesday. The Lord has been working in my life so much lately to physically show me the power of the body of Christ and how important it is to have community and fellowship with other believers.

1 Corinithians 12

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Suffering Like Christ

1 Peter 4
Living for God
1Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 2As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 3For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. 5But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 6For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.
7The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Suffering for Being a Christian
12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And,
"If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"
19So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Peter writes such divinely inspired words of God here. Some major suffering has occured lately. The earthquake in Haiti, a brain aneurysm and coma of an amazing children's minister, a personal suffering and consequence in my life. That's just in the past two weeks. I've experienced many different tragedies in my life such as the death of my biological father mentioned in my first post on this blog. It's tough to see the good in bad situations especially when you're currently experiencing that bad situation. Years later, it becomes easier to see the good, but that's because we have to go through the bad experience to grow.

What I really want to dive into about this chapter is, when going the trials and tribulations focus on the promise God has made us. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." and Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." I understand how tough it is to focus on the blessing and hope promised when life gets so hard. Remeber, we serve a god who created the universe! We serve a God who has saved us by grace in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 2:4-10 "For God did not spare even the angels who sinned. He threw them into hell, in gloomy pits of darkness, where they are being held until the day of judgment. 5 And God did not spare the ancient world—except for Noah and the seven others in his family. Noah warned the world of God’s righteous judgment. So God protected Noah when he destroyed the world of ungodly people with a vast flood. 6 Later, God condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and turned them into heaps of ashes. He made them an example of what will happen to ungodly people. 7 But God also rescued Lot out of Sodom because he was a righteous man who was sick of the shameful immorality of the wicked people around him. 8 Yes, Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his soul by the wickedness he saw and heard day after day. 9 So you see, the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their trials, even while keeping the wicked under punishment until the day of final judgment. 10 He is especially hard on those who follow their own twisted sexual desire, and who despise authority."

We serve a powerful God in whom NOTHING is impossible. The Lord is using the earthquake in Haiti to create a blessing of help for the people there. Franklin Graham's ministry Samaritan's Purse is there providing physical and spiritual aid. Do not be surprised when we suffer and do not get angry with the Lord. Instead have faith in He who saves to reveal His glory.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

At times the Lord speaks as if He is a mighty wind. He may speak in a whisper, or He may move in the heart of a friend to speak kindly to you. These are a works of the One God through the One Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:17 "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." As a Christian man who constantly sins, it is so important for me to understand that there is freedom in the Lord. Every day, I choose to be unloving, say unkind words, to lust, to hate, to boast with great pride, and to walk against the will of God.

There are times I feel so trapped by my sin especially when it comes to the area of sexual sin and lust. As a man, this world desires to capture my heart and imprison it. Everywhere I look I see temptations of the flesh. Television is perverted in almost it's entirety, music has been taken over by sinfulness(Britney Spears song 3 about living in sin), and women dress in such provocative ways. Satan knows exactly where to attack me, my brothers in Christ, and some great men of the Bible. It is so important to fight for sexual purity. I stand before you as a man who has struggled deeply with lust, so much that it used to be a stronghold the Devil had in my life. I wish I had understand this concept sooner that I am not who I was. 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." I am no longer a man who is subdued by lust so much that it cripples my Spirit.

It seems so simple, and yet it's so difficult to not be ensnared by sin. Christ died on the cross for the sins of all people and then raising from the dead three days later declaring victory. I encourage everyone to read Romans 8:28-39 about being More Than Conquerors. It is important to understand the nature of our relationship with God and the earth concerning authority. At the beginning of our existence the Lord handed over His creation to us and made us the masters of our domain in Genesis 1:38-30. Later in Genesis, He used Noah to save the animals and continue the existence of the human race. In Exodus, He rescued the Israelites from enslavement through Moses. Every time the Lord wants His will to be done, He has to achieve it through a man, because He gave authority to man. Eventually mankind was so fallen that the Lord had to come down from the heavens to save everyone through a man, Jesus Christ.

Through the Son of God, Jesus, victory was achieved over sin forever. Jesus was tempted in every way, yet He was without sin. More than conquerors means that victory is already won; all that is necessary is to realize this and accept victory. In the accounts of the Israelites travels to the promised land in Exodus-Deuteronomy, we see how the Lord promised victory to the Israelites before they had even done anything even when they sinned against the Lord. The Lord had already declared how it would end, they would make it to the promised land. He has done the same with sin. Victory is already acheived, we need to seize this victory and understand that we have freedom from sin through the Spirit of the Lord that resides in the hearts of those who believe in Jesus Christ as the living Messiah. You are more than a conqueror. You are a victoroius before beginning the fight.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

In the Beginning

A blog: It can be satirical, humorous, thoughtful, or deeply intimate. My hope is that the words I write will be more than just pixels on a screen. I pray that the Lord will grant me the wisdom and insight to write only what He would deem worthy enough to type. I wish to start out with a personal account of my life, at least a brief overview. The following words are my personal testimony of the reality of God's love and His redeeming grace through His Son Jesus Christ.

There is one event in my life that affected me the next 18 and a half years; yet, I have no memory of it. I have three of my four older brothers remember my dad's funeral and his life. My dad was loved by all who knew him for his kindness, wisdom, his great attitude, and his loving passion for the Lord despite being so affected by diabetes that he was in a wheelchair and died early due to his disease. For years I so was jealous that my brothers had all the memories of my father, and I had none.

My mom re-married when I was 7 to a man who I thought was finally going to give me that fatherly love and bond I desperately desired and needed. It turns out he wasn't as good as I thought he was going to be. He verbally and physically abused me until I was 13. While he never called me names or left bruises, he would yell at me or my mom constantly and occasionally push or kick me. He made made feel as if I wasn't loved. I became very depressed, to the point of attempting suicide multiple times before age 13.

I always enjoyed going to church, and I felt that church was the answer to all my problems. I was involved in vacation bible school, youth group, youth camps, and everything else. I was trying to earn God's love, but church can't save me. One Sunday I learned that, yes, God loves me so much, but I was going about it the wrong way. I couldn't earn God's love. He loved me before I was born, and He loves me so much that He sent His son Jesus so that whosoever believed in Him would not perish but have eternal life(John 3:16.)

The problem is, my sins and imperfections keep me from having a relationship with God. My sinfulness comes with a penalty. That penalty is death and eternal separation from God. Fortunately, Jesus is God's only provision to pay the death penalty that my sin created. While God did this through Christ - one time, for every person, and all sins - it was up to me to make my choice to believe this to be true and put my faith in Christ. After I did that, I finally felt loved and accepted. My life did not change only my perception and reaction to what was happening in my life.

I still struggled with depression and suicide. The difference is now I personally knew God's love and that was all I ever needed and at times all I had. My step-dad still does not completely make me feel loved(although it has gotten a lot better), and I still feel like I have to do things to earn his acceptance. God always reassures me that He loves me and not only does He love me but He loves my step-dad. It has been 14 years since my mom re-married, but I can honestly say that I love my step-dad with all my heart. It's because God loved me first before I could ever learn how to love others, that I can love my step-dad as unconditionally as I do now.

1) God loves you always and forever.
2) We choose to go against His will and sin against Him. "The wages of sin is death" Romans 6:23.
3) Jesus Christ died to pay that wage so that no one would have to. Not only did He die, but He rose three days later fulfilling a prophecy about the Messiah that was written hundred of years before He was even born.
4) 1-3 is and will always be true. However, each person must personally receive this gift.

Please, do not go one more moment without experience an amazing relationship with God. Even if you have doubts about certain aspects of God, Christianity or religion, put your faith in Jesus Christ. My life is so different as a result of my personal decision to believe in the Son of God.